Montana -- If you’ve followed me for a significant amount of time, you may have been subjected to one of my rants about the decline of freedom across the internet, especially on social media. While I still hold that the major platforms are operating as fascists at worst, and greedy hyper-capitalists at best, there is the occasional bright spot.

While I disapprove of some of the policies on Substack, it has proven to be one of the most inspiring communities for my long form writing. It’s easy to be swept away in the “140 character limit” ideology across the web. Even though many have expanded, or even done away with character limits, it’s almost an unwritten rule to keep your words brief. “Ain’t nobody got time for that” and “Too Long; Didn’t Read.”

However, on Substack, once I found a healthy collection of writers to follow, and engage with, more than once, I’ve found myself intrigued enough to comment on a post, and wind up going over that “character limit” and am blessed with an entire blog post.

Fellow writers understand just how valuable this can be, sometimes. I can edit, and rewrite, anything, all day but, coming up with the initial paragraphs…that can be a challenge on the wrong day.

So, I just wanted to acknowledge the community I’ve followed on Substack for continuing to reframe what social media is, while celebrating and inspiring free speech, and even pushing the envelope. This post was borne of one more of those thought provoking Notes, that led me to the parallels in my love of the culinary arts to the sensuality the we celebrate at Sincerely, Beau.

Enjoy…or…bon appétit.

A Note from Lois Mac on Substack:

"Treat your creativity and desire for people to appreciate your work as if it’s sacred, because it is.

The idea that we should always be able to create our best work, on demand, consistently, be always growing, chronically visible, on a consistent cycle of energy and creative output, over and over, is insane (especially for parents). It’s exhausting. You can take the slow route. You can take your time. You can treat your creative work like it’s sacred, not just a monetisable machine. It is more sustainable, enjoyable and ultimately more profitable that way, anyway."

My Reply: I’ve been pondering this concept for many years. I’m still not quite sure I’ve wrapped my head around it but, I like to equate it to cooking. I spent several years in the food industry, from fast food, to resort, to private catering. However, I closely consider home cooking when I think of food as creative, and I come back to a specific concept.

Especially in the home, cooking can be seen as a chore. It’s just something that must be done. With years of advertising telling us that we don’t have to do it, that it can all be done for us, recent generations have embraced the illusion that making food at home is an inconvenience, as opposed to the gift, and the pleasure, that it really is. This creates a disconnect from the culinary arts and the mere need for sustenance.

There’s a quote, along the lines of “the secret ingredient is love.” It’s meant to be hokey, and it is but, if you consider “grandma’s house on a Sunday,” or coming home for Thanksgiving, some of the best food most of us have ever had was cooked specifically for us, and with immense love. I think that “love” has a profound impact on the quality of the food.

Conversely, if someone is cooking out of spite, or just is not paying attention to the magic that is happening on the stove, or in the oven, the end result is capable of being…subpar. Food is salty, or burnt, or undercooked. It can happen by accident but, there’s something to the idea that, “cooking with love” is a real sentiment.

I enjoy cooking. Some of the best meals I’ve ever made, have come from loving the process, being excited about creating the dish, wanting to impress, and nourish, someone that I love. I have also experienced this “cooking is a chore” attitude. When I feel unappreciated, or my heart just isn’t in it, the end quality is not always something to be proud of.

Like I said, I’m still turning this idea around, (baking, if you will) so I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to describe but, I do think it is in line with your note. It certainly sparked a the thought process for writing it down. \

So, thank you, for another provoking post. “

Before you go, I am trying to tie all of my passions into sensuality at Sincerely, Beau. So, let me see if I can connect the thoughts, once more.

There’s a quote that has always resonated with me.

“The way you do anything, is the way you do everything.”

I came across this idea in the field of sport. It was in reference to the way you practice. Another variant was “You play the way you practice.” It’s meant to encourage players to take their training seriously. Without the adrenaline of competition, it can be tempting to relax. This can lead to a bad habit of relaxing in the game. That can lead to mistakes. So, putting as much effort into the work that nobody is watching, is just important as the effort that goes into trying to win on game day.

This can apply to creativity, and what is sexual energy but, a form of creative energy? They both come from the solar plexus. So, why not connect it here? The obvious parallel could be, you have sex with your partner, the same way you masturbate.

Hmm. Maybe.

My recent post about self-love touched on the notion that your intimate relationships could benefit from knowing yourself deeply. That fits “you practice how you play” but, that’s not exactly the right fit.

“The way you do anything, is the way you do everything.”

Aha! Perhaps here is the connection. The way you cook, can also be interpreted as the way you make love. The same can be said for the way you dance, the way you walk, even the way you eat.

So, if these are all connected, why would you risk being anything less than passionate about any of them? If you are inattentive in the kitchen, it can lead to an unsavory dish. Think about what that means in the bedroom.

I read a book by Isabel Alende called Aphrodite: A Memoir of the Senses. Unfortunately, I don’t have it with me so, I can’t reference it. However, it is a cook book that marries the sensuality and aphrodisiac of fresh ingredients in historically stimulating dishes. If you enjoy sex, and/or cooking, I would definitely recommend it.

I think the common denominator, here, for creativity, sport, and cooking, is intention. In each of these categories, and surely in every other one you can think of (“the way you do anything”…) the best of the best can only achieve success by being passionate, involved, conscious of every single step of the process. Why wouldn’t this be the same in your romantic life?

Do yourself a favor. In everything that you do: Be intentional. Be present. Be passionate. Because the way you do anything, is the way you do everything.

Sincerely,

Beau Holliday

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